Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 18 May 2007

image for Chelsea Fans Revive Old Song To Honour Mourinho
Spot, with the trademark 'Mourinho scarf'

Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho is to be honoured by Blues' fans at tomorrow's FA Cup final against Manchester United at the New Wembley stadium, with a revival of the old Stamford Bridge favourite One Man And His Dog.

Mourinho, the chosen one, has been an inspirational figure at Chelsea, and never more so than this week, when he was stopped by police for allowing his dog to foul the footpath near his home.

The Portugueezer and his dog, called Spot, were both arrested and taken to a police station in central London. Mr Mourinho was released on Thursday, but Spot is still being held in custody facing charges of 'illegally laying dog eggs on a Public Right of Way'.

The Chelsea boss has had a difficult week for, apart from his arrest, his squad has been decimated by injury problems, and is down to the last 43 fit players. Yesterday he made the 'hilarious' decision to name goalkeeper Hilary Hilario as a centre forward ahead of Didier Dogdirt - a direct result of Spot's indiscretion earlier in the week.

Chelsea fans have been practising the song in close harmony all week, and should be ready to do battle with United fans by kick-off on Saturday.

United fans have, themselves, developed a version of the song, with a slight amendment to the lyrics. Reds' fan Arnie Sidebottom said:

"Our song 'One Man Went To Moan' is a much catchier version."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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