London - (Ass Mess): Chelsea coach Jose Mourin-Ho was quarantined by London police last night after breaking out in a rabid fit while being arrested for smuggling his dotty pooch into the country without the usual quarantine formalities to determine if the little schnauzer is really a Millwall fan.
He was taken to a west London police station where he was cautioned, fingerprinted and DNA-tested.
The dog, nicknamed Maradonna, was spirited away to a secret address where it could be given new ID and passport papers via a microchip transplant saying that, far from being a Yorkshire Terrier belonging to Mourniho, it was really a Labrador/Pekinese cross-breed Chelsea FC mascot.
But London cops were having none of it and Mourin-Ho has had to give blood and urine samples as well as getting one of those massive-needled anti-rabies jabs in the gluteus maximus ahead of Saturday's FA Cup final against Manchester United.
The RSPCA said they became suspicious about the litle mutt after its owner started behaving oddly last month when being spotted hiding in a laundry skip that was then smuggled into Stamford Bridge to get round a Uefa ban following some biting remarks about British FA referees.
Roman Abramovich is livid.
after one of his outbursts got him into trouble. He left his house this morning and got