Written by Warren Redlich
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Friday, 11 May 2007

image for Bill Murray Marries 5-Iron
The bride awaits her headdress

Celebrity Bill Murray today acknowledged reports that he married a golf club last week. He spoke out to clarify the situation, as there had been reports that he got married at a golf club. He actually married his 5-iron, which has long been his favorite club.

"My five iron has always treated me well," Murray said, "and she really comes through in clutch situations, when I need that something extra." With his talent unappreciated in Hollywood, the actor has made a second career for himself out of celebrity golf tournaments. Corporate CEOs reportedly pay $100,000 or more to be included in Murray's foursome.

Murray also denied there was any animosity between his 5-iron and his other clubs. "She gets a little jealous of my wedge and putter, but deep down she understands that I occasionally have other needs."

The wedding was held at Far Hills Municipal Court, near the New Jersey National Golf Club, where Murray learned to play golf during his Saturday Night Live days.

The bride wore white.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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