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Thursday, 10 May 2007

image for NCAA To Change 3 Point Line, Other Rules
The schools will all need new chalkboards when the 3 point line moves back.

The NCAA has decided to change the distance of the three point line to make the shot a little more difficult. The University sports governing body has also announced other changes to the game of college basketball.

Next year, the three point line will move from nineteen feet, nine inches to twenty feet, nine inches. In an interview, former basketball coach and NCAA competition committee chairman Bubba Clyde Drexel offered the following information: "We think it's gonna make gettin' that extra point lots and lots tougher, so we done did it. Too many namby, pamby teams is just settin' back and shooting threes instead of hammerin' it ta tha hole."

The NCAA had made other changes to the game for next year. These include:

The three second rule will be eliminated as "most of our players can't count that high that fast. It generally takes 'em six or eight seconds to get that fir, and by then they got a penalty."

Missed dunks will result in the loss of two points. "We figgur that the players need something more harmful then juss the embarrassment."

The penalty for traveling will increase to five steps. "Ain't nobody calls it anymore anyway, so why keep it a rule?"

Male cheerleaders will be outlawed from sidelines. Reserve players will be permitted to come and catch the girls after flips or hold them up one handed on the behind. "Them faggy guys don't enjoy grabbing them girls pom poms, but our third stringers gotta score some way and we guess this is the closest they'll git."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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