Written by Jalapenoman
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Saturday, 5 May 2007

image for Kentucky Derby Results Announced
The pack was edged out by the longshot in today's Run for the Roses

Results of this year's Kentucky Derby have been announced and bettors are upset with the finish. Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain, who went off at 263 to 1 odds, won the race by the length of a hatpin.

The English Monarch was in the United States for the anniversary of the founding of the Jamestown colony and decided to participate in the annual Run For The Roses at Churchhill Downs.

After the race, she was seen sipping mint juleps with her jockey in a celebratory drink. "He rode me hard, but he brought me home. I haven't been whipped like that since the 1950's," said the Queen.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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