Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 27 April 2007

image for Lampard: "Jose Mourinho Doesn't Do Crack!"
Didier Dogdirt takes another dive

"Jose Moaninho does not take crack!" That was the message from Chelsea midfielder Frank Lamp-post today, in defence of his beleaguered manager, Joe Moaner.

The Chelsea boss has come under fire lately from Crustiano Retardo, the Melchester United homo, and the Press with regard to his outburst against referees who, he says, will not award penalties to his team.

"The gaffer's just a bit pent up", said the England international, adding "they get a bit like that, these foreigners. But he certainly doesn't take crack!"

Rumours had surfaced in the media that the moody Portuguese maestro had resorted to the drug to relieve the pressure on himself and his team, but dealers in London say that they haven't seen him for more than six weeks.

Chelsea centre-forward, Didier Dogdirt, also stuck up for his manager, commenting:

"'E no taking a crack, comprenez-vous?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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