The International Olympic Committee has announced that bicycle theft is to become an Olympic sport.
Bike theft in this country stands at one every 71 seconds and that's just not good enough if we are going to win medals in Beijing 2008.
We need to bring that down to at least 60 seconds, and ideally 40 seconds if we are going to realistically compete for gold.
The UK criminal fraternity is currently being vetted for suitable athletes to compete in this new and intriguing sport.
After an intensive period of training, the best scroats with the ability to nick 'em quickly will go to China to compete.
The profusion of bicycles in China is expected to produce rich pickings, and competition is anticipated to be fierce.