Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 23 April 2007

image for Man Utd's Ronaldo Scoops Five PFA Awards
Another queen

Crustiano Ronaldo, the Manchester United striker, cleaned up at the annual PFA awards, scooping five prizes, making him the first player in history to do so.

The Portuguese show-off was voted the Player of the Year and Young Player of the Year, which has not been repeated since Andy Gray did it in 1977.

But it didn't end there.

Ronaldo also picked up the Gay Player of the Year Award and the Young Gay Player of the Year Award, as well as the Ponce of the Year Award for Continued Services to Puffery trophy, to sit proudly in his cabinet alongside his Getting A Team-mate Sent Off In The World Cup Award 2006.

Interviewed, Ronaldo told the BBC's resident man-fancier Graham Norton:

"It's fantastic. I've achieved everything I set out to achieve this year. But I still haven't got a regular boyfriend."

To celebrate his success, the Portugal star exhibited a couple of stepovers and a "shimmy", of which, Norton was "extremely appreciative".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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