Written by Lee Wyatt
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Saturday, 21 April 2007

image for Keane is secret ballet dancer
Keane as he was found.

There was shock today at the stadium of light in Sunderland after it emerged that manager Roy Keane was found in tights dancing to four seasons.

Mr Keane, who has managed the black cats since September, is thought to have been a closet ballet dancer since he left Manchester United.

Sunderland Chairman Niall Quinn, today confirmed that an internal inquiry will take place after the discovery. Quinn stated "Obviously we take this matter very seriously. We cannot condone anybody dancing to Vivaldi, if it was Beethoven it would be a different matter."

When quizzed about the incident Keane stated "The hills are alive with the sound of music".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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