Mumbai, Apr 20 - Ending weeks of speculation, the Board for Consumption of Cricket in India (BCCI) has announced the team for the upcoming tour of Bangladesh. And for once, promises made at the end of a pathetic performance seem to have been kept.
Rahul Dravid, who has been retained captain for both the ODI and Test series, sports a sharper nose that has given a new definition for the expression 'pinched faces' while his former deputy, Virender Mayur Sehwag, once considered an explosive batsman (who later imploded) looks leaner and younger thanks to some liposuction and hair transplants.
The loss of batting legends like Tendulkar and Ganguly to rust may not cost the team as much as was feared, because their replacements in Agarkar and Zaheer Khan are expected to bolster the batting line-up. The latter pair have had plastic surgeries to look like Bollywood film star Sanjay Dutt's younger brothers.
The most sensational change, however, seems to be MS Dhoni who has had his hair cut. While fans call this a strategic move, sources close to the star have informed us that it was to pay off the cost of rebuilding his house after his fans had demolished it after the WC match against Bangladesh.
In addition to former players such as Kapil Dev and Sunil Gavaskar, the new-look ODI team also features Charu Sharma and a barefooted Amir Khan to bolster its think-tank.
The BCCI has also decided to enforce its face-saving measure for all future matches until 2025. Supply chain leader Reliance has agreed to supply full-face masks customized for each player.
The team : Rahul Dravid (C), Charu Sharma (VC), Sunil Gavaskar (VC), Kapil Dev (VC), Agarkar (VC), Zaheer Khan, MS Dhoni (WK/VC), one player from South Zone (To Be Decided), two players from North Zone (TBD) and 6 more players from Mumbai (TBD after next Ranji season); Coach - Mandira Bedi; Manager - Ajay Jadeja; Physio - Dr.Kevorkian. - Dissociated Press.