Written by Sprat
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Wednesday, 18 April 2007

image for England Cricket Exit: Flintoff Blames Drycleaners
England hung out to dry

As the excuses start to pour in for England's exit from the cricket world cup Freddie Flintoff breaks the silence emitting from the England camp... by blaming the drycleaners.

Flintoff, a drunk, claims that Englands sluggish performances in the world cup can be accounted for by the drycleaners not drting his clothes sufficiently after he fell out of a boat smashed out of his face earlier in the tournament.

Speaking after tuesday's appalling 9 wicket defeat against South Africa Flintoff (commonly known as Freddie when he's propping up the bar) said "of course performance is an issue, South Africa played ok, considering they still practise aparthied".

After this shocking faux pas Flintoff continued, "I am quite clearly the best player on this team and any decision i take to get drunk is no ones business, it stimulates me. However my clothes weren't dry, they have cost us the World Cup and my reputation as the greatest sportsman since Hercules himself".

Flintoff, a modest by trade continued to talk b*****cks for the rest of our interview. The England team can next be seen in a pantomine near you.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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