Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 17 April 2007

image for South Africa Warned: "Be On Your Guard Against England"
South Africa will win before tea

The Cricket World Cup Super 8 stages reach an important point today for England who must win against South Africa to have any chance of qualifying for the semi-finals.

South Africa, though, aren't taking England lightly, and have promised to field a full eleven for the match. It had been thought that they may have rested key players, and tried to beat England with, say, seven or eight players, but this is not the case.

South Africa skipper Graeme Smith, said:

"England are crap. We'll field a full side though, because some of the lads need a run around after that binge-drinking episode at the weekend."

England go into the game without main strike bowlers Mike Hendrick and John Snow, and spinner Derek Underwood, whilst Geoff Boycott is fit again for selection after getting rid of his Panama hat.

England captain Frankie Vaughan warned the South Africans to be on their guard, and not to take anything for granted:

"I warn South Africa to be on their guard, and not to take anything for granted.
I think they will win though."

In other news, police have still not arrested anyone for the Bob Woolmer killing, and are now not even sure that he is dead.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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