Written by Jalapenoman
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Topics: NCAA

Monday, 16 April 2007

image for NCAA Gymnastics Finals Set
Only Olympic gymnastics matters

The NCAA men set the final teams in place for their gymnastics national championships for both individual and team competitions this week. As no one really cared that much, however, the event was not telecast on any major or minor television network, including ESPN36 and ESPNU.

When asked why the competition did not seem to stir up much enthusiasm or support, former Olympic judge Tony Hartwell offered the following opinions: "Let's start with the girls. First, the Olympics are the only time any of the people really care about gymnastics. They get to see a bunch of cute litte pubescent girls jumping and flying around and shaking their cute little 14 and 15 year old bottoms. Some watch because it is athletic and amazing, others watch because it is half naked teenage girls with see through tights and underwear twisting themselves into interesting positions."

"By the time the girls get to be eighteen to twenty-one, they can no longer do those same moves and they are a little more modest in their costuming. The butts and legs are bigger and muscular and not as cute. It just isn't as fun to watch."

"Now, for the guys, no one really watches them at the Olympics either, but you have to give equal time. Yes, they've got some athletic moves, but most of us would rather tune in a bad football game that watch a punch of pansies swinging on the rings."

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