Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 10 April 2007

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Gary Lineker's stunning new look

BBC1's Match of the Day programme had a very different look this week when presenter Gary Lineker unveiled his new persona after having recently undergone a sex change.

Keeping the same initials, but now known as Gabby Logan, the Walkers Crisps enthusiast drew stares from fellow pundits Alan Hansen and Martha Lawrenson, with his long flowing blonde hair and half-decent looks. Hansen, especially, flirted with Lineker and was obviously appreciative of the new look. The ex-Liverpool and Scotland defender couldn't take his eyes off the ex-Leicester man, saying:

"You look fabulous tonight, Gary! Shocking tackle."

Lineker enjoyed a long playing career , and, as well as Leicester, spent time at Everton, Barcelona, Tottenham and Nagoya Grampas 8 in Japan. It is thought that it was there, in the Land of the Rising Sun, alongside Geishas and other strange artifacts, that he first hit upon the idea of becoming "less manly".

According to an old friend, Tokyo Sally:

"He alway wan to be lady."

Lineker had his op at the walk-in Yanhee Hospital in Bangkok, where the whole procedure took just 90 minutes (plus some injury time), and cost only £85.

Back in the studio, Hansen wanted to know the "extent" of the surgery, and asked Lineker whether he was now a "full back" or still a "centre forward".

Lineker winked playfully and told the Scot:

"You'll have to wait until later, darling!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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