Written by Leeane Hussey
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Sunday, 1 April 2007

image for Trumpeter Cooper Blown Away By Cricketers
Drinks break during the impromptu cricket match at the Calypso Club

Anyone who has seen a cricket game involving England in recent years will be aware of the Barmy Army's tooting trumpeter Billy Cooper. It seems Cooper's latest appearance may have been his last.

Last night Cooper was to play one of his traditional sets at the intimate "Calypso Club" in downtown St Johns. As Cooper was to be backed by local band "The Rasty String Quartet" it promised to be an intriguing night.

Starting the set with "When The Saints Come Marching In" Cooper had the rapt crowd jumping in the aisles. This was a promising start and the aficionados in the audience were licking their lips in anticipation.

Police are waiting on the CCTV tapes before commenting but it appears that out of nowhere a cricket game started in the audience. Senior Constable John Dolittle was reported to have said that he could not believe that such an incredible lapse of good taste would occur in the refined Calypso Club. Police are determined to identify the ringleaders.

Unconfirmed and often confusing reports indicate that as there were a substantial number of maidens most batsmen scored freely. It has even been reported that I.V.A. Richards, one who often blows his own horn, was a leader in the impromptu game.

Cooper has been quoted as saying, "This is the saddest day of my life. How could anybody be so infantile as to confuse a maestro at work with 2nd rate entertainment?"

It appears most people agreed with Cooper and the cricket game continued into the small hours with wild chants of "Great ball man" and "Look at the cherry swing".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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