Written by Fergus McCarthy
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Saturday, 31 March 2007

image for England conquer Ireland, It's just not cricket.
Cricket WAGS doing nothing as usual

Somewhere in the Caribbean on one of those little Islands:- England 's cricketers defeated Ireland by 48 runs this morning and sparked wild scenes of celebration in both England and Ireland admittedly for differing reasons.

Barmy army fans worldwide breathed a collective sigh of relief at having overcome a a potentially embarrassing sporting banana skin here in the spiritual homeland of banana's.

England Captain Michael Vaughn said "Yeah to be honest it was good to overcome the Paddies after what they did to Pakistan. They have become one of the most dangerous teams in world cricket and it was important for us to keep our concentration and focus on the task in hand"

When asked by a baffled Sky news reporter how he could compare crickets equivalent of soccers San Marino to the likes of Australia and Sri Lanka Vaughn replied
"Take it from me John, the lads were terrified out there, look what happened to the Pakistani Coach after the Murphs done them, our manager was cackin it"

In Dublin celebrations were under way amid confusion as to who had actually won the match.

Colm O'Leary drinking in Dublin's 'Murphy's Stouthouse" slurred " I'm not sure who won to be honest with you, the game went on for hours and at times it seemed a bit unfair, at one point the Brits had 11 of their players out there against only 2 of ours which I thought was wrong but I think we might have won it on penalties"

Davey O,Shea was asked how he felt about Ireland's cricketing exploits and answered honestly,
"I'm proud of them, I didn't even know we had a cricket team until I looked at Sky News and saw our postman throwing a ball at another lad."

Ireland's Camel racing team leave for Dubai early next week for the Arab Long Trot Finals.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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