Written by Doug Powers
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Sunday, 11 January 2004

image for Brett Favre to finally correct spelling of his last name
"This one's for you, Uncle Frakn and Grandma Eliazbthe!"

In an announcement that has rocked the sporting world at it's core, quarterback Brett Favre has finally admitted his ancestors made a horrible mistake in the spelling of the family's last name.

"I'm here to say," began the visibly shaken and emotional Packers great at a hastily called press conference, "that my name is now 'Farve', just like it sounds. I've filed the papers with the state, and it's now legal." Farve then held up his new jersey with the corrected spelling, F-A-R-V-E, on the back, to the gasps of reporters and clicks of cameras.

Language experts claim to have seen the change coming for some time. "Eet vas bount to hoppen," said Helmut Spiegel, Director of Germany's esteemed Dusseldorf Phonetics Institute. "Centuries ago zees familees offen got zee names spelt wrongk due to lack un edukashun unt/or zee drinkink proplems."

It wasn't an easy decision for Farve to make. "At first, I'd thought about just getting an easier name, but my family had already tried that. Hundreds of years ago, our name was Smith, but that came out 'Smtih'. Then we were Johnson, which somehow ended up 'Jonhsno' ...oh, it was still pronounced 'Johnson', it's just the spelling was screwed up. That's how it's been for years."

Brett Farve has played in many a tough football game, but he now believes he has finally won the greatest battle of his life. He's got his family's name back to where it should be.

In an op-ed piece in the daily paper "The Green Bay Shiver", Farve wrote that he did this for his grandmother Eliazbthe (pronounced Elizabeth) and uncle Frakn (pronounced Frank), both of whom suffered for years from a family history of horrendously spelled names.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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