Written by Pointer
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Topics: Cricket

Wednesday, 21 March 2007

image for England Cricket Gets Crooked After Getting Crocked
A sticky wicket when cricketeers get crocked (Someone's replaced his bat with a hockey stick!)

A potholed practice area at the Beausejour Stadium caused England some anguish yesterday when the captain Michael Vaughan tripped and fell during fielding drills and spent the remainder of the session receiving ice treatment from the physiotherapist Dean Conway on his troublesome right knee. (How drunk can you get?!)

Subsequently, Vaughan was reduced to facing just a handful of throwdowns and took no part in full batting practice. (Blatto!) However there is no suggestion that he will not be fit for their final group match against Kenya on Saturday, which they must win to progress to the next stage. (He sobers up faster than the average bear!)

Coming just a few days after the late-night drinking incident (What's new?), and the demotion of the vice-captain Andrew Flintoff (Big Sot!), England need no further distraction, particularly as there is now uncertainty who would take charge in Vaughan's absence(Probably another drunk!). Steve Harmison, the England fast bowler, suggested that stripping Flintoff of the vice-captaincy was the wrong decision."The worrying thing is: who is going to captain the country if Michael Vaughan gets injured?" said Harmison."Because if there's one thing that Freddie is, it's a good captain. Does this sort of crime warrant the punishment it's been given?" (Sports should be above decency)

The seamer James Anderson, one of five players disciplined after the weekend, also missed practice though he is just being rested (Gingantic headache!) after playing in both England's matches to date with a fracture to the little finger (Poor Baby) of his bowling hand and suffering a severe back injury (Flat on 'is back, that is!) in the summer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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