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Tuesday, 20 March 2007

image for Disgusted Englishmen Attack Lampard Over Too Many Englishmen in the Premiership Fears
Send English players like Lampard home, and get some foreign ones - Pardew

The English FA has asked for an explanation from top English club Tottenham Hotspur after two English fans ran amok on the pitch at White Hart Lane after last night's quarter-final replay against Chelsea, and not surprisingly, punched one of the England players, England's Frank Lampard, in front of England manager Steve McClaren with millions of English people watching. The FA described the incident as "totally un-English" and have asked Spurs to explain.

"These Englishmen are totally out of control, and we will be contacting Spurs. We want to know how these two Englishmen got to attack the England player."

Spurs have confirmed they will co-operate fully with the FA and will ban any Englishmen who aim punches at England players for life. "We can confirm that two Englishmen entered the field of play, both from England," read a club statement.

Clubs have defended the policy of signing English players after criticism from Charlton boss Alan Pardew. Pardew was disappointed that the whole emphasis on English football was too English.

Pardew defended the irate fans: "It's important that top clubs don't lose sight of the fact that it's the English Premier League and English players should be involved. Foreign players have been fantastic. We have learned from them and from foreign coaches. But, to some extent, we could lose the soul of British football - the English player."

This morning, Frank Lampard will be feeling the effects of the sharp end of that frustration from two disgruntled fans who are disgusted and simply said enough is enough.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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