Written by Melange
Print this
Topics: Irish, Notre Dame

Friday, 16 March 2007

image for Irish American's Seek to Ban Notre Dame Nickname

South Bend, IN - Fed up with what it considers an "incomplete" and "misleading" nickname, thousands of Irish-American activists called upon the University of Notre Dame to refrain from using the phrase "Fighting Irish' unless it was willing to give equal emphasis to the Singing and Drinking-Irish.

"I am tired of being characterized as 'just a fighter," said a clearly inebriated Seamus O'Rourke, executive director of the Celtic Trinity. "I'm just as likely to get smashed or croon Danny Boy, as I am to smack you across the head with this bar stool. But nobody wants acknowledge that. This nickname creates a very one-sided opinion and is a litmus test for how we are treated. We either internalize this prejudice or fight it?so which one of you no good friggin' arsehole wants a piece of me," added O'Rourke, as he slid off his seat into a state of blissful intoxication.

O'Rourke joined hundreds protesters attending last Monday's 'Swig & Jig' at Corby's Irish Pub. The event featured a live performance by Flogging Molly, three-dozen toasts to solidarity, and 38 counts of simple assault.

Prior to passing out into his thirteenth pint of Guinness, Father Padraig Murphy led throngs of drunken, step-dancing demonstrators in the following prayer:

"Lord, gives us a Notre Dame that is free of bigotry?unless its all-inclusive, accurate bigotry. Grant us the strength to fight, the courage to karaoke, and the wisdom to know the difference between peat and brine-imbued whiskey.

The National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) is likely to consider the proposal after imposing a similar ban on teams with mammalian nicknames last February. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) successfully argued that the continued representation of lions, tigers, and bears as "animals" was dehumanizing.

Support for the movement continues to grow around the country with national organizations supporting the ban. Some organizations that signed on included the NAACP, Amnesty International, and Mothers Against Potato Blight.

Make Melange's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 4?

3 25 4 23
48 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more