Written by King David
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 13 March 2007

image for Sidney Lowe mistaken for bellhop in Tampa Hotel after NC State loses to North Carolina
Something like this suit might be better suited for not fasionable Sidney Lowe

Not only did NC State lose in the final round of the ACC Tournament, getting knocked off by the number 8th ranked North Carolina Tarheels, 89-80, but NC State's head coach Sidney Lowe upon returning to the hotel with his team was mistaken for a bellhop and asked by a customer if he would carry his and his wife's luggage to the 8th floor.

Eye witnesses say that it took five players just to hold their coach back from killing the man. After the incident, Lowe was taken immediately to the lounge where he was sedated by Johnny Walker and a bar tender named, Vivaldi.

It took five players to carry their coach to his room on the 8th floor. Employees of the Hotel under the impression that Lowe was one of their fellow workers, were said to have stopped the group on several occasions telling them that they would take it from there.

Brandon Costner, a redshirted freshman, who scored 28 points against UNC and set an all-time ACC Tournament record for most points scored for any freshmen player at 90, was said to have tucked his coach in.

Upon awaking in the morning, Lowe was reported as saying, "Man, what a dream I had. My house in Kansas got caught up in a big tornado and was lifted from the ground and fell on some wicked witch of the East. Then, these little people yah high and dressed as flowers starting singin' somethin' 'bout bing bong the bitch is dead...the bitch is dead...the bitch is dead."

North Carolina knocked off any hope of the Wolfpack making it to the NCAA Tournament this year.

Later, the hung over bell-hop impersonator said, "At the end of the dream, I just clicked the heels of my wing-tips three times and said there's no place like home. There's no place like home." The Hotel, to compensate for the mistake, has booked the coach a special flight on Spread Eagle Airlines home.

To keep from being mistaken as a bell-hop again, public relations officers for NC State athletics say that Lowe has consulted with clothing designer, Ralph Lauren. Lauren, a big Wolfpack fan and is apparently designing Lowe a whole new wardrobe to wear to games.

"Buut fihrst, Sidneey you're gonna have tu lose sum weight," he told the barrel chested coach.

Lowe apparently took Lauren up on his suggestion and has begun working out. His trainer, Bill King of Raleigh, had to hide his loyalty to his own alma matta, the University of North Carolina Tarheels in order to get the job with Lowe.

King says that he is enjoying putting the overweight coach through his steps and says that the coach is putting forth an effort to lose the pounds.

"Sidney's a hard worker," King said. "He just has a hard time with some of the smaller machines because of his size."

King, also known for training celebrities such as Pee Wee Herman, Alice Cooper, the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, and satirist King David, says that he likes to keep a low profile. At 5-foot-5 and easily mistaken for a rubic's cube in a purple Polo shirt, keeping a low profile is not hard for him to do. He says that he owes it all to Sgt. Major Hunt.

"Without Sgt. Major Hunt's bugle blowing in my ear, I would be without discipline," King said of his high school experience at Fork Union Military Academy in Virginia.

The incident occurred in the lobby of The Embassy Suites Hotel in Tampa on the campus of the University of South Florida near Busch Gardens.

Apologies are being sent to Lowe from the Hotel and the man in the lobby who made the mistake. In addition, the manager of the hotel made matters worse and stuck his foot further in his mouth when he offered Lowe a job for the summer.

No word on what kind of work he was offered.

In other news today, Carolina Tarheels ranked number one in their bracket. Roy Williams consulting Ralph Lauren too to trash Southern Baptist Minister look.

Make King David's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 1?

5 14 3 6
62 readers are online right now!

Go to top