Written by Fa?ouk
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Friday, 23 February 2007

image for Alberto Gilardino to retire from football
Italians can get pretty heated

AC Milan's young striker Alberto Gilardino has finally decided to quit football and take the pressure of him from having to dive every game and miss easy chances.

Gilardino, 24 has already been chosen as the most hated Milan player this year. Rumours regarding his sexuality and allegations that he tried to touch Maldini's "private parts" have had many Italians up in arms.

He decided to quit football because of the "mean" attitude towards him by the fans, and will start a TV talk show from next month.

Gila asked his Girlfriend to be his first guest to prove that he is "good in bed". She eventually refused to do so because she admitted that he is "never horny" and his penis never works.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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