Ian 'Beefy' Botham, in a sensational attack has slammed the entire Australian test cricket side as being abysmal.
He told our sports reporter:
"They've just been stuffed by England for God's sake and if that doesn't make them shit, then I don't know what does. England, under Fred Flintstone are rubbish and any side that can't beat them should give up now.
When me and Lamby were playing you would never have seen the likes of that happening at all. It's a bloody disgrace and they all ought to be ashamed of themselves!"
A clearly worked up Botham then stormed out of the press conference but not before punching a fan who was trying to take his picture. Botham commented "Fucking Paps! I can't stand the bastards"
The Spoof understands that he then went to his favourite curry house and had five helpings of Shredded Wheat Madras, before coming home at 7.00am the worse for drink.