Written by dav
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Topics: California, Senator

Friday, 19 December 2003

image for Old Bitch; Skater Chick at Heart
Hawks' got nothin'!

TINSLEY, AZ -- Today famed California State Senator Diane Finestein shocked 50 of the world greatest skaters when she took to the half pipe with presence.

Over the holiday extended time off, MTV was hosting a special 'Skate unto the stars,' and many of the renowned skater dudes and the like, presented their mind embracing techniques for this once in a lifetime charity event.

Screaming "Watch this sh*t," an abnormally physical, 66 year-old, seemingly frail, ancient broad performed handstands, flips and kick-offs with precise accuracy and confidence. Tony Hawk, who was scheduled to skate right after Finestein concluded, took an immediate change of order, so that he wouldn't have to follow the most impressive performance on the planet.

When asked why he had taken a rather unwarrantable delay in his skating, Hawk look at us, sniffled a bit as if he had a cold, grabbed his throat as if it was touch to swallow, then hit his chest with his left hand signalling that it was mighty difficult to breathe, and announced in his normal healthy voice, "It's none of y'ur damned business, this is for F-ing charity for Pete's sake, stupid SOB's."

The senator was a special guest 'surprise' to be sure within the skating industry, and has already signed remarkable endorsements including one with EA Sports, a company that produces incredible sports related video games.

Finestein declined to comment on her performance, as she noted that this event was 'just for the kids.'

Hawk Finished 3rd
2nd place was a draw between Donny Sosha & Jerome Oliver
Finstein took the 1st place trophy

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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