"Muff Diving should never have been approved before the Titty-F**k!" was the hue and cry of the IIMF (The International Inter Mammary F**kers). Cat Calls abounded at the IOC meeting in Likit, Australia.
"Vagina, vagina, vagina! Why must it always be about the vagina? Vaginal fluids, vaginal discharge, bloody vaginal bleedin',even vagina monologues as if those lips could speak!" IIMF spokesperson, The Very Reverend Frederick "The Great" Tittslesin O.Carm.Lite squirted forth, "When did the vagina ever give nourishment the way the divine mammary gland can? Have ya nev'r read Grapes Of Wrath,at the end when that poor starvin' hobo bums a meal off the boobies of that lovely Rose of Sharon? Steinbeck had no going down there!".
When more traditional critics of both Muff diving and Inter Mammary foolin' around got the floor the donnybrook really started. "The only sex act approved by Our Lord Jesus H. Christ who never had sex himself, no matter what that heretic Dan Brown wrote, is the latex-free penis-vagina bone dance endorsed and given the sexseal of approval by good housekeepin', the better business bureau and the Holy See's men!" Sexperts The Dawursts told them all to go jump in a jacuzzi and ET McCrone Candidate for PrezMinister objected to the"Ignorant neglect of latex and the silence about spandex!"
Marquee Mark of TheSpoofDotCom commented:"Watch the exclamations! Ooops! Shit, they use a lot of ink..."