The diving, cheating but otherwise ballerina-like Portugal and Manchester United footballer, Christiano Ronaldo, is now officially called Ronaldo Ronaldo, after the old Ronaldo surprised Ronaldos everywhere by giving up his name, and revealing his real name.
'I give up, mate, I'ma too fat, and I'ma past it. You can hava my name. I was always a Juan.'
The new Ronaldo, who accepted the name gratefully and added it to his own name, is nicknamed the winker because he winks to indicate he's cheating. Way back last year, before Manchester United led Chelsea, Ronaldo Ronaldo single-handedly ruined England's chances of ever doing a '66. Ronaldo Ronaldo deliberately asked the referee to send off his Manchester United team mate potato-headed Wayne Rooney, while winking a lot.
The referee, realizing he was dealing with a new Ronaldo in the making, gave spud head his marching orders. Ronaldo Ronaldo's great rapport with referees is thought to stem from his lonely childhood when he used to write love-letters to referees all over the world, and they've never forgotten.
Ronaldo Ronaldo's chances of getting in the Brazilian team, are slight as they already have a Ronaldo, a Ronaldhino, a 'Rocket' Ronaldo, and the nickname Ronnie's already taken.