Secret papers released today by the Ministry of Secrets, reveal that in his youth, long before he had ideas of world domination, Adolf Hitler was far from being a disgruntled artist. Documents held for fifty years show he was a failed striker who played for struggling Bayern Munich. This fascinating insight into the growth of a despot, reveals that the roots of his psychotic delusion lay in having a clear penalty disallowed at Old Trafford in the early stages of an old European Cup tie with Manchester United on 10th January, 1930.
Showing what damage bad refereeing can do, Hitler went on to bomb Old Trafford, thus ensuring that Manchester United played future fixtures at sworn enemy and rivals, Manchester City. The rest is history, but even to this day, in keeping with history, clear penalty appeals at Old Trafford are traditionally turned down by referees ignorant of history.
'The Austrian lad took a dive in the box,' said Graham Sock (87), who refereed the fateful game. A veteran of over 2760 league and cup games at Old Trafford, Sock said:
'On yer feet, my son. We referees are here to uphold the letter of the law, and the law of the game says. Eyes in the back of my head! There has to be a referee. Imagine the game without a name in the book. Anarchy. Need I say more? Wot did you say?'
Adolf Hitler is shown in this rare photo wearing the very Manchester United hat he stole from a young Bobby Charlton on that fateful day in 1930. Here he addresses the masses at Nuremberg vowing to destroy Old Trafford and its surrounding massive industrial estates, a task completed by his evil, psychotic, Minister for Bombing, Herr Von Thatchller.
If you remember that fateful game (maybe you were even there) email The Spoof with stories of how cheap it all was back then.