Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 23 January 2007

image for Lamb to the slaughter: Roddick v Federer
Roddick makes Grand Slam hystery

Melbourne Park - (Rioters): "Just don't know why he does it to himself. You'd think he'd learned by now. I mean it's just so humiliatin' and what have you, and it's every time. Every time he walks on the court looking like he's gonna fool us all this time round. Only he doesn't. Get's whitewashed three nil and ends up looking like some dumb-ass roadkill muntjack. In public. Don't know why he bothers. Should have stuck with the hairdressin' job. Or macrame. Knitting dinky anti-macassars for his aunty in Des Moines.

"All that prep fuss, then the hype, the coach's glowing eve-of-match report, the pre-match photo-op, the ex-girlfriend's heartfelt telegram, the sponsor's TV ratings, the celeb-brand condom cable endorsement, the where's-Andy's-Mo-Jo cringe-fest. Sheeez. Another thirty bucks down the pan, Federer wipes the floor with Roddick.

"Eight times I've backed him. Eight hundred bux for a lousy nothing. Nil. Zilch. Rien ne va plus.

"Grand Slam thank ya Ma'm. Next time I'm with Nadal."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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