Written by Fife Peterson
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Tuesday, 9 January 2007

image for Rangers Appoint Super Smith
Ball Not In Net: The Usual Heartache For Rangers

Walter Smith will step down from his prestigious position at Scotland Boss to manage (again) strugglers Glasgow Rangers. Fans of the 'Gers have previously suffered season after season of heartache since the glory days Smith orchestrated. Fans are both excited and shocked that Smith has left his 'big time job' to come save the day.

Fans are now calling the manager Super Smith & have designed a costume for him to wear on match day. The state of the art spandex suit uses all the latest micro fibre technology to give Smith maximum comfort whilst he is strutting the line.

Ally McCoist, every drunk's best friend will also be joining the frey with Smith, taking an Assistants role. 'Coisty as fans affectionately know him, once famously downed 36 Double Famous Grouse & cokes, turning up on the set of Question Of Sport & upsetting Sue Barker called her a "Slag". His addition to the new look Rangers coaching team is thought to bring the fitness levels down but morale levels back to the glory days.

Celtic supports club chairman John McFroogle is quoted as saying, "I could nae give a fook who they have at the helm, they'll still come third, come season close". Rangers are now looking to obtain the services of Paul "Gazza" Gascoigne to really take the club back in time. It's reported that even the design of the kits will go back to 'the glory days' but a club pie at half time will still be £3 for Steak& Kidney & £2.50 for Chicken & Mushroom. Bargain?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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