Written by Chris Hanson
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Monday, 8 January 2007

image for Naked Paris Hilton, Nude Britney Spears, Bare-breasted Sofia Loren Mum As Giant Stole Moon For Use In Inter-galactic Softball Tournament
Giant stealing Moon

WASHINGTON - The vast hand that plucked the Moon from the night sky Sunday belonged to a cosmic softball pitcher, Defense Secretary Robert Gates said today.

"Our intelligence indicates that a giant humanoid of unknown origin is using our Moon as a ball in an inter-galactic slow pitch softball competition," Gates said.

"So far, he has pitched two shutouts and one perfect game, propelling his team to the semi-finals. We will keep the public informed as to the outcome of the series and provide box scores."

Loss of the Moon has created havoc with ocean tides and has led to mass flooding with hundreds of thousands of deaths across the globe.

The celebrities mentioned in the headline had no comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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