Written by Duff
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Topics: Ian Botham

Friday, 5 January 2007

image for Botham Slam Dunks His Own Head
England's team medico superglues Beefy's head back in place yesterday

The top of Ian 'Beefy' Botham's head blew off today, as the former cricket hero was delivering his verdict on England's sorry performance in Bulgaria as they crashed out of the Gillette Cup 2 nil.

The Shredded Wheat chomping pundit was just in the act of slamming Freddie Flintstone when the assembled hacks noticed steam coming out of his ears. Our reporter who was there, reports in his report that he filed reporting:

"Beefy was in full flow when smoke started to come out of his ears. Some bloke from the Sun who was in the front row twigged what was going on and threw a glass of water over Beefy but it was too late. Next thing there was a sort of rumbling noise and the top of his napper went for six.

But fortunately his long time pal Alan 'Lamby' Lamb was there and he caught the head thus saving Beefy from any permanent damage. The team doctor stuck it back on with superglue and the big fella carried on as if nothing had happened"

After the conference was over we believe that Botham stormed off in his trademark fashion but not before chinning the bloke from the Sun for soaking him. He then went on to a top New York eatery where he had a massive meal washed down by 5 bottles of Dom Perignon before returning back to his hotel at 6.00am.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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