Written by President Bush
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Tuesday, 2 January 2007

image for Dallas Cowboys And Dallas Cheerleaders to Swap Roles
Future quarterback Vanessa Reeves (right) tells Drew Breeze to "Bring it On"

If Dallas Cowboy owner Jerry Jones has his way the Dallas Cowboys will become the Dallas Cheerleaders and, vice versa.

"I never played quarterback before" Dallas's head cheerleader told fans going on to say "but I bet I could at least WIN a game or 2 - what's up with those players?"

Jones, not a happy cowpoke these days said in an Irving press conference:

"Those cheerleaders are pretty strong, athletic too. They can't do any worse than that bucket of losers we have out there now showing up every Monday night getting trounced up and down the field until their panties wear out."

Sources say that not only will the Cowboys and cheerleaders swap roles but salaries as well. Dallas's quarterback Tony Romo warned,

"Look, I make 17 million dollars a year. No way I'm taking a 16.95 million dollar pay cut to go swing Pop-Poms. I'll go play for the Raiders first."

Oakland Raiders head coach Art Shell said that he did not foresee that particular transaction transpiring in THIS lifetime adding,

"We've already got a quarterback who can't throw or run or remember which down it is. However we might be in the market for one of those Dallas cheerleaders, that Vanessa Reeves one for sure. She in fact is the only reason I even WATCH a Cowboys game."

Dallas cheerleaders are now suiting up and training while the Cowboys are learning how to twirl Pop-Poms, sing "rah rah sis goom bah" and basically look like complete sissies, a task they've performed quite admirably over the past season. Wide Receiver Terrell Owens ALREADY in a bad "that day of the month" mood pointed out,

"We look like pansies anyway. How much worse can this cheerleader gig be?"

If the "swap" goes through, the Dallas Cowboys will swing their Pop-Poms and the Dallas Cheerleaders will square off against the Seattle Seahawks in next week's NFC Wildcard game.

"Expect a LOT of tackles" the Seahawks say if those Cheerleaders get to play. One unnamed referee in fact said that he wouldn't mind winding up on the bottom of a loose ball pile of cheerleaders himself should such circumstances arise which, according to the ref WILL arise if he and his whistle have anything to say about it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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