Written by Duff
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Topics: Cricket, Ian Botham

Thursday, 28 December 2006

image for Botham Slams Door
Beefy storming out of London's swanky Ritz Hotel

Ian 'Beefy' Botham has today slammed a door in a fit of rage over England's latest shambles against Ireland in the 5th test in Mumbai.

At a press conference held in London's swanky Ritz Hotel he told reporters:

"It just gets worse. I have never felt so humiliated in my life. We go out there to Belfast and we just roll over and let them murder us. It makes me embarrassed to be English!"

He then turned the table over sending drinks and microphones all over the place and stormed out of the room, chinning a waitress who was carrying a tray of lobster sandwiches as he went. It's thought he was heading for trendy watering hole, The Ivy, to get 'pinted up'

The last thing we saw was him slamming a door so hard in his rage that it nearly came off its hinges. It's all a far cry from his glory days when he single-handedly defeated the world and was crowned king of British sport.

Alan (Lamby) Lamb, one time adversary but now a close friend told us:

"Beefy is a different man now and these days his life revolves around adverts for Shredded Wheat and New Zealand Lamb. But he'd still really like to be out there winning the World Cup in a penalty shoot-out against the Germans. Just like he did all those years ago. He did...didn't he?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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