Written by Justin R.
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Tuesday, 2 January 2018

Mr. Irving, a devout Flat-Earther, has at the ripe age of 25, taken upon himself the momentous task of changing the culture of the Celtics organization.

"No longer are the Celtic's going to be associated with combating racism like under Bill Russell or hard work under Larry Bird. The Celtics are in a new era. The Kyrie era." stated Mr. Irving as he prepared for shootaround.

When questioned about the Kyrie era, Mr. Irving delved into a 15-mintute soliloquy comparing his new epoch to a sweet and sour sushi roll, often citing philosophers like Plato, Kant, and sushi master chef, Jiro Ono.

Although many question Mr. Irving's ability to do the unthinkable, Celtics teammate and All-Star, Al Horford thinks otherwise. "Kyrie's always been extremely determined and when he puts his mind to it, he's unstoppable, on and off the court" Mr.Horford told reporters as he finished his daily Navajo Spiritual Cleansing.

When asked if the Navajo Spiritual Cleansing was Mr. Irving's idea, Mr.Horford exclaimed "shiit, you all ready know".

-In his quote to Mr. Banks, our executive reporter, Mr.Horford requested that the word "shit" is to be spelled with two i's, one for each moon on the face of the Navajo god, black god.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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