Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 29 August 2017

image for Beefy gravy wrestling contestants in UK get roasted!
She was a "showstopper" at the Gravy Wrestling Contest, her purple-hot breasts really got the gravy boiling!

This can only happen in the UK, a "Gravy Wrestling Contest" held annually in Burnley Lancashire! No other nation would even contemplate wrestling in fatty gravy; however mad Brits are what they are, nutters!

Sadly, the participants at this years annual bash got more for their efforts than normal due to the very hot, unusual weather attacking the Northwest of this rain-sodden country. In fact, after several competitors dived into the gravy pot, the whole thing started boiling over!

Several competitors gave an interview to Jaggedone's intrepid, fighting CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporter, Bisto Boomboom-Beefheart, and here are some of their reactions in the local Lancashire dialect:

"Man, it felt like a Lancashire hotpot in there and I nearly had my balls roasted!"

"I usually participate in wet T-Shirt wrestling, but this time I thought wrestling in hot, roasting gravy would be nice, horny and greasy, especially when my opponent get's me in a half-nelson from behind!" (It was a female BTW)

A huge Japanese, ex-Sumo wrestler now residing in Burnley gave the following comment: "I prefer mud wrestling in huge tubs of mud, this gravy thing aint healthy man, too much fat and I'm a vegan!"

Another, slightly thinner, veggie, male wrestler also nearly got roasted by a beefy female wrestler only dressed in a revealing, very tight body leotard! He claimed she was a "Dyke not on her bike" and the contest was totally unfair because she kept grabbing his nuts whilst gnashing her teeth, and he wasn't allowed to hang on to her huge, metal-like tits!

So there you have it, idiosyncratic English summer Sunday afternoon pastimes, cheese and cucumber sandwiches at high tea on the lawn, have been replaced by wrestling in roasting hot gravy vegan style!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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