Written by Dee Batable
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Friday, 21 July 2017

image for Cash conscious Arsenal's no cost, new player plan, gets the red card from Wenger!
Unhappy Wenger shows Board the red card!

The Arsenal board of directors voted overwhelmingly to provide long serving coach Arsene Wenger with the extra resources he requested to find new talent.

They unanimously agreed to do this, by giving their supporters a chance to play in home games.

Fans who would like a chance to trial should attend matches, wearing the full Arsenal kit, including boots and shin pads. If selected they will get the opportunity to play a 10-minute stint on the emirates hallowed turf.

Pitch side cameras will pan the stadium at half time, relaying Images of the kitted-out hopefuls onto the screens throughout the stadium.

The fan whose image receives the loudest accolade, will be judged the victor.

Head Coach Arsene Wenger said, "This is quite ridicoolous, when I asked the board for extra resources, I was referring to obtaining more funding, not this madness! This is going to make my job almost imposseeeble to do"

Chairman Sir Chips Keswick said "Arsene asked for the resources to scout for new players and we've provided that. Surely among our 50,000 fan base there must be new players,who are just waiting to be discovered."

When asked about his coach's comments Sir Chips responded by saying "I'm afraid If this arrangement is no suitable to Monsiuer Wenger then perhaps the time has come for him to hop it!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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