Written by Jaggedone
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Sunday, 28 May 2017

image for Jose Mourinho buys 500 new players!
He surely is "The Special One" our Jose!

After the mega success of Manchester United in the Europa League, Jose Mourinho, has decided he needs to strengthen his squad and has handed CEO, Ed Woodward, a list of 500 players he wants!

The media circus around United is going bananas speculating on who and what Jose will do with all these new signings and Jaggedone's super footy CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporter, Daddy Long-Legs, got an exclusive interview with Jose whilst he was standing in the box at Monte Carlo waiting to drive his new F1 car around the circuit in front of Lewis Hamilton; no problem for Jose he's a born winner!

Daddy Long-Legs: "Jose, it has been reported you are buying 500 new players! What the fuck are you going to do with them all?"

Jose smiling at last: "No problem Daddy, we will have 50 teams next year starting in all major leagues, China, the US, in fact everywhere where there's money United will be there!"

Daddy Long-Legs: "So that means you want to win everything, every league, cup and competition on the planet?"

Jose, still smiling: "Yes daddy, Man United are the greatest club in the world and we will conquer the whole world with all of these fantastic players the tabloids are saying we will purchase!"

Daddy Long-Legs: "And what about Wayne Rooney?"

Jose, smiling again: "Who?"

There you have it, United are back where they belong, and soon will rule the whole planet as long as there's money to be made thanks to Jose!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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