Written by Gee Pee
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Topics: Golf, Sport, PGA

Saturday, 15 April 2017

image for For pro golfer Bob Twat, being cute and inspirational may have to be enough
Competitors line up as they wait for Twat to sink a ball

DULUTH, GA ---- Bob Twat bogeyed two of the last three holes during his play at Friday's PGA Tour Champions' Mitsubishi Electric Classic.

"It's disappointing that I actually hit two nice shots on 7 and 9," he said. "Otherwise, I'd be even further behind."

Trying to clarify his statement, Twat added, "On the seventh hole, I rolled the ball past and missed it coming back. On the last hole, I left it short and missed it."

"Bottom line," he explained, "I missed it."

He said he practiced his slices for a week prior to the tour. "Each time, I hit worse, until, finally, I wasn't even reaching the green."

At age 57, Twat, one of the older professional golfers on the tour, hasn't won a game this season and doesn't expect to.

"I'm here just to show other old farts they can enjoy the game, even if they can't play it."

Twat enjoys hiking the course. "It's really green," he said, "and the trees are grand." He even likes the lake, despite his loss of seven balls to the "water hazard."

"I just hope I don't hot a swan or a duck."

Many older men and women are inspired by Twat's example.

"He can't play golf to save his life," Archibald Duffer said, "but he still makes an effort, even at his age."

"He's kind of cute, too," Zelda Mulligan said, "in his Nike cap and Ray-Bans."

Twat said he still has a chance to win the tournament, despite his "horrible start." "I'm the come-from-behind kid," he said. "Well, not 'kid,' exactly, not for some time now. But, if the arthritis holds off for a few rounds, I think I can move up the charts."

"Even if he doesn't win, he's an inspiration," Duffer said.

"He's kind of cute, too," Zelda observed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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