Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 11 April 2017

image for Arsene Wenger's Arsenal get stuffed and who does he blame?
Palace residents kick the crap out of blank-firing Gunners and Arsene Wenger knows why!

A sad, humble bunch of spineless, blank-firing Gunners led by their French fumbling manager got blown away yesterday by a flock of ravaging Eagles at the Palace last night!

Now normally managers would concede honorably to such a defeat but, Messr Arsene Wenger, as usual, blamed everybody and everything else for Arsenal's pitiful display and here are his thoughts after the slaughter given to Jaggedone's (Cockroach Infiltration Army) star footy reporter, Gorgeous Burp-Best!

"Arsene, why did you lose si vous plait?"

"Imbecile, did you not watch the game! The ball was too hard, their pitch was too small, the Palace fans were too loud so my ballet dancers could not hear my instructions. There were too many Palace fans in their palace, the grass was too long and wet, their hamburgers stink, and f'ing Jose Mourinho is playing mind games with my superstars, Ozul and Sanchez! And please do not mention the referee, imbecile too, it was not a penalty, not a corner and it was a foul on my goalkeeper; excuse, I am running out of excuses, imbecile!"

There you have it, perennial, spineless losers of every competition they enter, The Gunners, and their fab manager who has not looked in the mirror for the past 26 years.

Big Sam Allardyce, the Palace resurrection manager, gave his version of the game and here it is given whilst spitting out his gum:

"We stuffed them bunch of spineless softies with impunity and Wenger can go and stuff himself too! Tonight they fired more blanks than I do at my missus, merde!"

A tale of two halves maybe?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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