Written by Jaggedone
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Monday, 10 April 2017

image for Geordie Land is hoping for a Lourdes miracle!
Sunderland, Moyes and Geordies need his help, but even he has given up!

By employing a Scottish Messiah and sacking a Portuguese Madonna, it seems that these two representatives of Geordies fantasies have failed to work miracles in and around the area called Geordie Land!

Sunderland fans were observed yesterday praying for salvation as their sad bunch of non-performing troubadours, led by a superior Coco The Clown reincarnation, called Moyes, were spanked by a Portuguese man-of-war representing Manchester without even raising a sting.

Further down the road, in Middlesbrough, without their Portuguese replica of a real man-of-war, another team of gutless, money-grabbing mercenaries were being sunk without trace along the North Sea coast.

This particular part of the UK is renowned for its traditions, strange language, awful food and quite useless football teams. OK, we all accept those facts, but employing a Scottish born-to-lose Messiah in the form of Moyes, really proved to everybody, apart from Geordies, that they desperately need divine intervention.

After the sad match Moyes actually asked Mourinho; "Jose, what is your secret and why do I destroy every team I touch, and you win every damn thing?"

Mourinho replied; "David, laddie, a priest once told me never wear the cloak if it does not fit!"

Thick-head Moyes was last seen heading towards Lourdes hoping to understand what Mourinho was actually attempting to say; after all miracles can happen...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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