Written by Aspartame Boy
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Tuesday, 7 February 2017

image for Putin hacked the Super Bowl
Snowflakes around the world are kicking footballs in anger

Moscow - Putin held a parade in Red Square Monday to celebrate the KGB victory in America's Super Bowl. Whistle-blower Alexakranicov Lexippenin reports that the Bose head sets were "totally hacked, comrade! "

He explained how Putin gained total control of both teams during the game. Using hackers, the complete playbooks for both teams were obtained. People were trained to sound just like the coaches over the headsets. Advanced voice processing algorithms were used for this. Putin called every play for both offense and defense. He cleverly controlled the coin tosses as well, using space-based scalar-weopons.

Using satellite based laser systems, he caused the losing team to miss an extra-point kick. Putin turned off the TV during half-time however, claiming he hates Satanic symbolism. During the game he engaged in a Skype conference with Trump, who was in on the gag.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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