Written by Backandtotheleft
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Tuesday, 10 January 2017

The swivelling bowel of corruption that is FIFA has farted out it's newest half baked after birth covered idea. The world cup will be expanded to 48 teams. The declaration which was nailed onto the drawbridge at fortress FIFA read that by 2022, like a fat man, the world cup will have gone up several sizes.

All major decisions on how to actually stage the tournament and who gets the extra places will be differed until five minutes before the tournament qualification kicks off.

Met with much scepticism from around the footballing world there were a few places that the decision was greeted with huge cheers. Scotland was one of them places. Ex-Racist texter Malky Mckay tumbled out of a all day booze session to give us a quick quote.

"This is fantastic news! It will give our fans much more renewed hope. Now instead of blowing our chances two games from the end we'll be able to go into the last game against San Marino with a chance! We'll still lose 1-0 but everyone will say how great our fans are so that's all that matters."

With FIFA yet to confirm where the extra places would go leading Scottish footballing figures gave us their view. They were all in the same pub. It really saved us a lot of time.

Kenny Dalglish claimed: "If FIFA were to give the extra places to Africa and Asia then the Scottish FA should explore moving confederations."

So they can be knocked out by Oman and Libya.

Ex Rangers trophy gatherer Walter Smith said: "The world cup needs Scotland"

This was underlined with Spanish fans crying out to watch games containing players of the calibre of Scott Brown, Shaun Maloney and Alan Hutton.

And the final word had to go to the last Scotsman to score for Brazil at a World cup Tommy Boyd: "When we went to France in 98 nobody gave us a chance and they were fucking right. Back then we had a fairly decent team and we still got battered by a bunch of restaurant workers from Morocco. I mean England's record is laughable but they have won the thing and regularly qualify. I wouldn't expect us to qualify if we were in the Antarctic qualifying section playing against teams of penguins."

Best stick to curling lads.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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