Written by Jaggedone
Print this

Sunday, 18 December 2016

image for United sack Jose Mourinho!
The Special One has the "Blues" again being sacked by Manchester United!

The Manchester United board of directors have decided to part way with their recently acquired manager, Jose Mourinho! After 3 successive wins and a run of 10 games unbeaten the board told the parasitical British press that this was an unacceptable situation because they fear that Sir Alex Ferguson's empire could be in danger of crumbling, and nobody dares "piss up sir Alex's" tree (or that horrendous statue outside of Old Trafford)

Jose, as usual, accepted the board's decision, told them they were a bunch of f'ing losers and kicked several, over-priced, mineral water bottles brandishing the United logo at the doorman who has stood outside in the cold for the last 50 years! He muttered, "thank God that Portuguese twat has left the building!"

United are now searching for a suitable loser to replace "The Special One" and are considering reappointing David Moyes who did an incredible job in not destroying Ferguson's legacy. Another candidate for the high-powered loser job is "Bunga, Bunga" ex-England bandido, Sam Allardyce.

Sir Bobby Charlton and good friend of Big Sam, Sir Alex, support the controversial move because they know Sam will be shagging the United cleaning lady within a fortnight and obviously will get sacked assuring the non-success of United. It seems that Sir Alex will remain stuck high on his pedestal because nobody could lick his boots apart from "The Special One" who is just too good!

Make Jaggedone's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 5?

8 17 10 21
75 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more