The Manchester United board of directors have decided to part way with their recently acquired manager, Jose Mourinho! After 3 successive wins and a run of 10 games unbeaten the board told the parasitical British press that this was an unacceptable situation because they fear that Sir Alex Ferguson's empire could be in danger of crumbling, and nobody dares "piss up sir Alex's" tree (or that horrendous statue outside of Old Trafford)
Jose, as usual, accepted the board's decision, told them they were a bunch of f'ing losers and kicked several, over-priced, mineral water bottles brandishing the United logo at the doorman who has stood outside in the cold for the last 50 years! He muttered, "thank God that Portuguese twat has left the building!"
United are now searching for a suitable loser to replace "The Special One" and are considering reappointing David Moyes who did an incredible job in not destroying Ferguson's legacy. Another candidate for the high-powered loser job is "Bunga, Bunga" ex-England bandido, Sam Allardyce.
Sir Bobby Charlton and good friend of Big Sam, Sir Alex, support the controversial move because they know Sam will be shagging the United cleaning lady within a fortnight and obviously will get sacked assuring the non-success of United. It seems that Sir Alex will remain stuck high on his pedestal because nobody could lick his boots apart from "The Special One" who is just too good!