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Wednesday, 19 October 2016

image for Honorary Doctor Andy Murray in 48-hour walk-out.

Following his recent back to back wins at the China Open & Shanghai Masters, a desperate and exhausted looking Andy Murray has seized the opportunity to strike from all Tennis & Fatherly duties for 48 hours.

He is protesting about the increase in working hours since the birth of his 8 month old daughter in February and using his Honorary Doctorate from the University of Stirling as leverage, as "other Doctors get to strike".

"It's been an absolute nightmare", he said with a noticeably croaky and lethargic sounding voice. "Since February I've had to work on nights and weekends as well, providing round the clock care to our baby daughter as well as juggling the already unsociable hours associated with being a Tennis Pro.
  
A spokesperson from his management team said: "Andy is just not his usual positive, lively self at the moment. We are seriously considering cancelling some of his important motivational guest speaker appointments too, as we believe he is danger of just mumbling and sighing a lot on stage, and nobody wants to hear that from an elite professional".
 
Murray is hoping that a 48 hour walk out will force wife Kim and his management team to rethink his unworkable schedule.
 
"Kim's really got me over a barrel here. Forget Djokovic, Nadal or Federer, she is the most formidable opponent I've ever encountered. Whilst I'm working the nightshift, woken up every 2 hours to change shitty nappies, she's off getting manicures, vajazzles & enjoying champagne nights out with the rest of the WAG's. Right now, I wish I'd never gone near Mrs Murray's mound"
 
Murray has taken the 48 hour time off to enjoy a well-deserved Scottish tradition of "a wee swally", otherwise known in England as a "2 day bender".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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