Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 27 September 2016

image for Sam Allardyce Resigns From England Job With 100% Record
Not Sam Allardyce, but not far off

England football manager Sam Allardyce today stepped down from the post, and immediately became the first England team manager in history to leave the job with a 100% record.

Allardyce, who took over from previous boss, Roy Hodgson, in July, guided England to a superb 1-0 victory over Slovakia in a World Cup qualifying match earlier this month, but is now thought to have become 'fed up to the back teeth'.

Known in the footballing fraternity as "Big Sam", Dudley-born Allardyce made his name as a player at Bolton Wanderers, a club he later managed, and where he was loved by the fans. He later managed both West Ham United and Sunderland, where both sets of fans would happily have shat in both his pockets.

Allardyce has a rugged face, and appears as if he might have spent at least part of his life living rough on the Yorkshire Moors.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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