Written by Jung in the Jungle
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Topics: rio olympics

Tuesday, 16 August 2016

image for Rio Olympic Pool found to be 6.2 inches too short - all events suspended
The Olympic Pool needs a bit of clean out

In a shock finding apparently the Olympic Swimming Pool in Rio is 6.2 inches shorter than the prescribed official length. Officials are highly embarrassed and have immediately suspended all events until a solution is found.

Asked what happened they replied our initial guess is the Spanish workers were not using English inches, but we were also suspicious that all the Chinese swimmers pissing purple may of actually shrunk the pool. When reporters laughed at such a silly suggestion they replied "that there was a scientific investigation of a possible purple piss in combination with the babies thrown overboard by boat refugees had somehow changed the molecular structure of the concrete".

This latest catastrophe comes in the wake of the green pool fiasco and Brazilians are left wondering how foolish they must look internationally. Given we have so few serious domestic issues authorities said "we really need to give this as much air time as possible, but had to be careful not to exceed their plausible deniability mandate from the Olympic Committee".

Asked about the medals that had already been won they stated that they would have to be returned to allow modification of the medals and then returned to the athletes with the words "this medal is 6.2 inches short" engraved on them.

Some commentators are blaming the recent cold weather citing many other local concrete structures, that shrink in winter. "We told them to build it longer than they needed to in case it shrank it would still be OK", detractors boasted.

Asked about the remaining events they replied "the best scenario so far is we wait for summer and hope the pool stretches again".

Authorities have once again warned anyone making less than gracious comments about the pool that they still had to get through customs to get home yet. It seems athletes are taking this threat seriously as many of them are frightened of the 'smack of the rubber glove'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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