Written by Jung in the Jungle
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Sunday, 14 August 2016

image for Feverish bidding on e-bay for dumped green water from Rio Diving Pool
Brazilian Drug Lords get hi-tech in their bid to buy and re-sell the green water

Olympic officials have finally been forced to dump the green water from the diving pool. Citing media backlash as their main concern they have begun the technical process of dumping the water and refreshing it.

Given how much money Brazil is losing on the games and wary of populous backlash from a heap of non-Brazalians having a good time at the expense of poor locals who can't feed their families local authorities are opting to put the water up for re-sale to Brazalians only. Despite a frenzied interest from many westerners they will be e-bay geo-blocked and not be able to bid for the water.

Trouble is looming for the idea though as it is expected that only drug lords will have the upfront capital to buy so much wacky water. It is widely rumoured that they have already setup a dealer network to on-sell the water to village athletes.

Previous reports about some sort of chemical intoxication from being in the pool are the motivation for many athletes to get a flask or 2 before their next event. Security has already busted several athletes trying to sneak into the pool building after dark.

The Brazilians have claimed the reports that the pool smells like gaseous biological emanations are racists and have warned anyone in Brazil making these comments that they still have to get through customs to get home yet

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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