Written by Backandtotheleft
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Tuesday, 9 August 2016

In the most surprising move of the summers transfer window amateur rapper, style icon and part time footballer Paul Pogba has joined Manchester United in a word record £105million quid deal.

The deal was finally pushed through in the early hours of this morning after United agreed to pay Juventus the stupid fee. We would have reported on this earlier but we were making bets on hobo fights in a Salford city car park until the early hours of the morning.

If nothing it is thought Pogba has increased United's overall "on Fleek" power to superstar ratings.

United manager Jose Mourinho gave this statement:

"We are signing one of the world's best midfielders. But do you know who isn't signing one of the world's best midfielders? Arsene Wenger. But I don't know why you bring him up. He's obsessed with me. I have won two European cups. Has he? I don't know. You will have to ask him. I don't think about Wenger only my club. And Wenger."

Pogba himself was happy at the deal saying.

"I really wanted to join Real Madrid but United just kept throwing more and more money at me so I eventually joined them. I would have joined Man City if they'd done the same. But I can happily say I will take United's money and play some football. I have asked to be excused from all away trips in the FA cup as I won't want to muddy my boots playing at Shrewsbury."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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