Written by Backandtotheleft
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Saturday, 30 July 2016

image for Vieris Last Waltz
Last Known Picture Of Christian Vieri

Ex Italy, Torino, Piza, Ravenna, Venezia, Atalanta, Juventus, Atletico Madrid, Lazio, Inter, Milan, Monaco, Sampdoria and Firoentina forward Christian Vieri is to come out of retirement to play in the Chinese Super League. Never a man to stay to long in one place we fully expect him to play in India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Thiland before the end of the year.

A spokesman for the 43 year old ex-hair band wearing forward said:

Christian hasn't trained since he left football back in 2006, those who watched him at his subsequent clubs will know this is true. But we both fully expect him to be ready to play in the Chinese Super League. I expect him to because he has paid me enough money to expect him to and he expects to because he is deluded.

With the standard of the Chinese Super League currently hovering around the same standard as division 3 of the Reading inner city blind football league he should have too much trouble.

We imagine clubs will be queuing up to sign the bloated ex-eyebrow model and pair him with one of their own useless strikers. Or with another greedy import who has gone there to "further their career".

So the man once described by Back and to the Left news as "the most likely player to eat cabbage with ice cream" is heading east. Some will say that he is coming out of retirement for the money others will say it's for the love of the game. One thing is for sure: He's still probably better than Jelavic.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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