Written by Jack Leonard
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Sunday, 3 July 2016

Following Wales' incredible 3-1 victory over Belgium in the Euros, the Welsh Assembly has apparently received thousands of new passport applications from England supporters who desperately want to remain in Europe.

One such fan, Brian Jones, told us, "I never wanted England out in the first place. I truly believe that we need to do everything possible to stay in Europe, even if that means changing country. Obviously, when it looked like Wales were only going to be there a little longer than us there wasn't much point in making the switch. But now it looks like they might stay to the end, I've decided it's time to go back to my roots."

When asked how he thought he qualified for Welsh citizenship, Mr Jones replied, "Just look at my surname. You can't get much more Welsh than that, can you, boyo?"

Unsurprisingly, true Welsh supporters are not too happy about this. The only one we could find who wasn't still catastrophically hungover said, "Ah right. So these people who have always taken the piss out of us for being a little country are suddenly finding Welsh grandmothers and school trips to Rhyl, are they? Well, fuck 'em. They had their chance when Bobby Gould was looking for players."

A Welsh Assembly spokesman has confirmed that they have received a large number of applications but was quick to point out that there isn't actually a Welsh passport. "We are, of course, all part of the United Kingdom," he said, "although I'm not surprised the England supporters don't realise that. Let's face it, a lot of them aren't exactly the sharpest tools in the box."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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